Daniel oh Daniel, you're a wonderful Bond,
It made no odds to me that you're short and you're blond.
It was worth every penny of the cinema fee,
When like Ursula Andress you rose from the sea.
Le Chiffre wept blood, but you weren't impressed,
You weren't even stopped by a cardiac arrest.
You were bruised, smacked and battered, and beat til you bled,
But you never said “Sod it, I'm off back to bed",
You went back to the table for your government's sake,
(Just exactly how many spare shirts did you take?!)
Your balls you got whipped when with villains you tarried,
Montenegro looks nice - let's go there to get married.